I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
