my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
