There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
as a side note pls kill me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
