To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
