Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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