you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize