I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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