so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
