were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
