well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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