If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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