***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
