Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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