You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
