i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
