my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Small penises have feelings too.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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