She said her name was "party"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
