Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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