I wanna bring you to show and tell
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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