I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
