you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Randomize
