I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
