She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
