i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
