He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize