chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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