Welp...herpes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
