it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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