He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
