I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
