I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
