God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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