Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
