i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
