Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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