i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
