he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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