So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
