Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
