I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
