Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What a dumb baby whore.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize