Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
