The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
