My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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