So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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