I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
