Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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