bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
