i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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