I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
