Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
