.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
