i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
