Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
