You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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