no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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