Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
