I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
