Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
