yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
