Do you still have your period?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize